I know hatred should consume me
When I see your face in my mind
My blood should boil, my skin should flush
My heart should stop beating at the sound of your name
But instead my heart hurts for you
It aches for your very existence
The though pierces my soul that you will never see your children grow
The only memories of you are torturous
Memories rather forgotten
I’m saddened for the woman who only longs for men who weaken her
The woman with no control over herself
The woman who gives herself away
I should yearn for pain to continue to chase her
I should curse her wrongs to me
Instead I hurt for the woman who has broken me
The woman who left me to pick up her pieces
The woman who doesn’t care she is not in my life
I should hate her for leaving the ones who needed her
I should wish she’d take too many, drink too much
But I can’t because she’s made her own bed
A sad, lonely bed that she has to deal with on her own
The woman who belittled me
The woman I’ll never see
The woman I am supposed to call mom