The Mountain Path

April 17, 2012
By Ariya GOLD, Charleston, South Carolina
Ariya GOLD, Charleston, South Carolina
12 articles 1 photo 25 comments

Favorite Quote:
Some men just want to watch the world burn.
-Alfred (Batman Begins)


A soft heat,
A Mountain path where man and nature meet,
The cloudless sky above,
The warm tree stump where two could fall in love,
A lightly worn path below,
The sun provides a warm, soft glow,
Trees quiver in the cool breeze,
Animals live unaware of time's choking squeeze,
The only sound are that of the birds,
Calm sounds with no description in words,
Human hands have never touched her,
This place that goes on year after year,
Changing so subtly you mightn't notice,
A soft heat and it's everlasting kiss.


The author's comments:
I visited the mountains of North Carolina where I hiked along paths and relaxed. It was so beautiful.

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This article has 2 comments.


Ariya GOLD said...
on Jun. 28 2012 at 1:55 pm
Ariya GOLD, Charleston, South Carolina
12 articles 1 photo 25 comments

Favorite Quote:
Some men just want to watch the world burn.
-Alfred (Batman Begins)

Thanks for the advice about ryming. I like writing poems that ryme because I feel like they flow better but I see your point.  I think I'll try that.

on Apr. 27 2012 at 4:42 pm
StrangeJade PLATINUM, Relative Obscurity, California
36 articles 17 photos 391 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life is so beautiful that death has fallen in love with it." - Life of Pi

You communicate place and atmosphere very well with this poem. However, I don't feel that it needs to rhyme. It rhymes well, although the scanning is fickle at times. But try imagining the place you're writing about -- just thinking of it normally. Do your thoughts rhyme? Probably not.  Sometimes nonrhyming poetry is more natural, and it works especially well in poems about natural subjects. Overall, though, very good! :)


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