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The Mountain Path

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A soft heat,
A Mountain path where man and nature meet,
The cloudless sky above,
The warm tree stump where two could fall in love,
A lightly worn path below,
The sun provides a warm, soft glow,
Trees quiver in the cool breeze,
Animals live unaware of time's choking squeeze,
The only sound are that of the birds,
Calm sounds with no description in words,
Human hands have never touched her,
This place that goes on year after year,
Changing so subtly you mightn't notice,
A soft heat and it's everlasting kiss.



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Ariya said...
Jun. 28, 2012 at 1:55 pm:
Thanks for the advice about ryming. I like writing poems that ryme because I feel like they flow better but I see your point.  I think I'll try that.
 
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StrangeJadeThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 27, 2012 at 4:42 pm:
You communicate place and atmosphere very well with this poem. However, I don't feel that it needs to rhyme. It rhymes well, although the scanning is fickle at times. But try imagining the place you're writing about -- just thinking of it normally. Do your thoughts rhyme? Probably not.  Sometimes nonrhyming poetry is more natural, and it works especially well in poems about natural subjects. Overall, though, very good! :)
 
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