When I was a child. I never really understood who you where. I didn’t know where you came from or what your purpose was for me. I would sit and think that if you where so powerful. Why would you let this happen to me? My mind was oblivious I was stuck in my own world that my only friends where “chalk” and crayon. I mean I was only seven. As I would walk into the house with my friends I would watch them fight every night I was in fright. Crying myself to sleep and the next morning is the same motion. I just wanted things to stop so I started to pray. I didn’t know what prayer meant but I knew that it was a way to speak to the almighty. As my days drew longer and they grew weaker, I had to choose. At that moment I knew I had to grow up quickly. As I was packing my things and saying my goodbyes, I knew nothing would ever be the same. It hasn’t. Looking back as I turn my head, with that last wave and kiss my heart melts every time I think of this. I would wonder where is this love that you claim to be giving me. Where is this power that you claim you have? It just wasn’t there for me, I wasn’t tall enough to reach for it. That’s what I thought. But as you watched me blossom into a young rose I slowly started to realize why you where here. You where here for me. It took me a long time to realize that it was just me and her.mom. No one else was there to pick us up when we fell, or when we were sick to our knees. No one. But when we called on to you, you made everything ok. I would think about now and then. I was only ten. At night when I started to see less stars in the sky and the moon wasn’t as bright I knew there was another battle that I had to face. I wasn’t ready. As I started to gather up my guard and shield they started to slowly disappear, I was bare, from my head to my feet. Ready to take away all of her suffering for good. But then I knew prayer wasn’t the answer, I knew the almighty didn’t hear. ME. So all I could do was wait for her suffering to disappear. She was tremendously getting worse and worse and I didn’t know what to do anymore. So I started to get angry at the almighty and curse his name, like he was nothing to me. I never thought that I’d say this but I feel ashamed of myself for the way I treated this higher power. This glorious figure that I have been waiting to get to know. I come to my senses and stretch up my hands high and give praise to him. Every waking moment I had to give to him I would. So I would pray with her all my days and nights, nothing was getting better. So I kept going in and out. In and out of myself like I was fighting with demons for my soul. Completely feel out of myself. Trapped in another person’s body surrounded by cadges of sorrow. We were awaiting a dark place that leaves no happiness behind just pain. As the morning rose and there were less clouds in the sky and the sun wasn’t as bright I knew there was another battle that I had to face. I WAS READY. As I started to gather up my guard and shield they started to become a part of me like it was my flesh. I knew that was the ALMIGHTY GOD!!!! He put his arms around me. And he said “I never gave up on you, even though you gave up on me”. From then on I knew that I could face anything that came into my path, nothing could defeat me.
To The Almighty
April 17, 2012