Forgiveness

April 19, 2012
By , Las Vegas, NV
Her wrinkles in her face curl my stomach.
Her tattoos stain my brain.
Her piercings plunge through every waking moment of my xeric life.
I cannot shake the face that changed my life forever.
From my heart I could only produce benedictions.
Now from her scars all I can think of are maledictions.
They speak of forgiveness as a key to happiness, a necessary requirement.
I look at it like a necessary evil.
I must learn to forgive,
But before I must know what forgiveness is.
The definition is matter of opinion?
Well, if that be the case then forgiveness is some existential idea,
Like love and death and an over soul.
If forgiveness is not some ideal but rather a learned trait,
Compliance within you to be at peace, I accept it,
However, I am not sure I welcome it.
Forgiveness is contemplated when you have been burned so badly,
You think of playing with the fire again.
The images of that fire still heat your insides every time you think of them,
Which I have discovered is all of the time.
When you deal with a singe, the pain doesn’t leave,
You live with it.
I have been burnt to the inner of all inners.
The candle was close to me,
And then betrayed me.
I did not wrong this candle stick,
Nor did I risk it playing ‘Jack be Nimble’.
The nature of fire is cruel and destructive,
Selfish for life-giving oxygen.
When you love a flame,
When you get to close;
You learn that there is an incendiary final embrace.
The soot darkens and powders the furniture,
Fogs the television screen,
Glooms the days,
And wreaks this place of its dirty ways.
It is a funny thing wanting the peace within,
But denying it because of the pain of that one sin.
Greed is usually the cause of mass destruction.
Why else would there be lives lost of the mass of a thousand,
Or companies toppling due to monopoly?
Why land stolen or lives taken?
Why friendships lost or families broken?
Greed derives from an evil place brought about by evil things.
It will inhabit one’s soul and dictate over one’s control.
Greed will come about then all aspects of matter it will clout.
See this is the root of all depression:
The greed which stinks of lies and oppression.
It is a contagious disease;
Of course the true strand stays in the first person’s organs with ease,
If it is not fought.
The conjugations which others find themselves caught,
Exist in entities known as depression: a greed for happiness.
The determination for what is deserved,
Was not needed as fully until the first strand had been observed.
Humans question what it is with our lives wrong,
Or the things that make our days seem so damn long.
Well the problem is that we did not do this to ourselves,
But fight to keep our happiness,
And the depression on shelves.
We need to conquer the virus which has infected our neighbor and affects ourselves,
Or else the rest of your life will be a parable like Cain and Able.
As simple as that her wrinkles curl my stomach,
Her tattoos stain my brain,
Her piercings stab through my veins,
And loving her or forgiving her I distain.
Now do not get me wrong,
I do not blame everyone else for my problems and neither should you.
Though sometimes we become victims to circumstance,
And nothing we could have done,
No good we could have shown,
Or other direction our cheeks could have turned would have prevented us from getting burned.
This leaves me with a void inside I try to distract and hide,
From eating away every happy memory,
Yet anger still resides,
And yet have I found easing tides.
So please tell me this,
Should we be so quick to forgiveness?





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