April 16, 2012
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I never knew how much it hurt
To open up and trust
And have them throw it back into my face.

No one ever taught me
The proper way to handle pain
As opposed to allowing myself to feel the hurt.

You were my first
The only person I knew I could love
No matter what.

And you knew that.

I opened up
I let myself trust you
Because you had loved me.

I let myself fall again.

And now I hate myself
For bearing myself so freely
For allowing you in.

I hate myself
For repeating history
And letting you break me again

I hate myself for letting you watch me fall

Maybe I was stupid
For not wanting to be alone
Craving love and kisses

Forget it.
I don't want it any more
I want to be alone.

I will not bend so easily for you again.
I will not love so easily.
Not for you.
Not for anyone.
Not ever again.

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