Torn between

WE are so close
yet so far away.
And its hard to explain
what I want to say.


Ther is so much about the old
that I really miss,
But in some ways
I like some of the newness of this.


U miss the commotion
When I am alone.
And i hate having to hear
your voice on the phone.


But I like the feeling
of being somewhat on my own
it makes me feel independent
and it makes me feel Grown.


As much as I miss you
my heart is torn
I dont want to loose this
but I know HOME is warm.


I miss the kisses
I got to begin each day.
And how A hug
made everyhtign go away.


But i hated the responsibilities
that werent really mine
but I loved how they given to me
because you knew I would do fine.


But now I love
how i can do things for ME
and I dont have to get distracted
by what others need me to be.


How I miss the conversations
and all the good time we had.
Not having that now
makes me kind of sad.


But the pain and the hurt
are the reasons I stay away
and I am torn to know
whether I want to go back someday.


So as i close my eyes
I remember your faces
I hear your laughs
and feel your sweet embraces.


My Daddy how i miss
the times in the shop
when we were suppose to be working
but instead we would stop.


And we would just sit there
and talk about life.
We would laugh together
and heal from the strife.


How I miss how you made me
Feel so safe and smart.
How your hugs reminded me
that we had a brand new start.


As much as i miss that
I just-I cant go home now.
I have to go
and find me somehow.


Momma my momma
where do I start?
You gave me life
and a big heart.


You taught me to do things
so I could take care of my self.
and those are things
i will never put on a shelf.


But momma
I dont know how to go back.
The thought of that
makes me want to have a heart attack.


My Little sister
what can I say,
How i hate being like this
so far away.


I miss our night talks
how we would whispper all night
and how we were still friends
even after a fight.


So many times
I led you astray
i am just so glad
you found your way.


But my puddin
I just dont know what to do
I dont know who I am
and i dont want that to affect you.


My Little Nate
how i miss your sweet face
how I hate that i
dont get my daily embrace.


I miss you so much
and my heart longs for you
But right now Sandra
just doesnt know what to do.


My family how I miss you
and everything we had.
But with were Im at
going back would be bad.


I have to find me again
and am trying hard to be me.
but by going back right now
i will become who you need me to be.


So though I am torn
and hurt, and alone.
and even though i hate
having to hear your voices on the phone


I will do what I have to
so we can be together again
though I dont know how
I can promise you when.


Just know I love you
Each very much
and this poem is for you
cause I miss you a bunch.





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hippiechick99 said...
Apr. 25, 2012 at 1:20 pm
This is so sweet and I love the over all personal aspect of this poem. I hope you keep writing :)
 
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