nothing else

April 15, 2012
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sometimes i want the clock to shut up and shut me down
sometimes i am a person and sometimes just a sum of words
you twisted me something tricky, taught me something new
you're gold and red but i am only blue

blue--this blue--it is the inside
this inside--the blue--it is me
to take--to conquer--my mind cleaved in two--
to rise with each day and not question--only you
only you--but this is the second
the tertiary, swimming sidestroke in an empty sea--
i fall in line with the bits of myself--
to be a person, and yet, to treat myself as ever
together, we were thirteen--but i wished not to remember
i wished separately separate to be twicely made again--
to come to my roots and root out the shiftiness
uncertainty--the silly child--the dark spirit--the overlord
the evil within, i wished to push it away
to compartmentalize and superimpose--
to bandy words as children do and not be such a child
but here i am still pretending, and here she takes over--

i wish i could take your soul as a material thing
and irreverently, paint it sleek to shine
then mold it, splatter it, form italics of my being
across the slanty-texted canvas of our connected minds
do you know how ethereal, how beautiful lives can be
woven together, seamless, tapestrial
loamy, breathy like you and me? if i could keep a single piece
just one out of all, i'd take your smile
your smile, your shine, and nothing else
i'd be content with nothing else
if i had the piece of you that was you and the piece of me that was me





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