Eating Away this Love

April 14, 2012
By RandomPoet SILVER, Apopka, Florida
RandomPoet SILVER, Apopka, Florida
9 articles 0 photos 36 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life is like a box of chocolates you never know what your gonna get"Forrest Gump
"Never say goodbye, because goodbye means going away and going away means for getting"Peterpan


You see the cheese cracker in your hand before its consumed. Each bite i take its for you. The hurt knowing you and i will never be the same i cant contain so i try to eat it away. Each bite and chew is the love i once had for you but as i eat away the feelings for you are the same. I eat and eat and gain and gain but each time my heart continues to aches. So explain to me what am i going to do. Sooner or later my heart going to burst with all these feeling i have for you??


The author's comments:
I wrote this while i was eating and it just came to me hope you enjoy.

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This article has 6 comments.


on Jan. 19 2013 at 6:51 pm
RandomPoet SILVER, Apopka, Florida
9 articles 0 photos 36 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life is like a box of chocolates you never know what your gonna get"Forrest Gump
"Never say goodbye, because goodbye means going away and going away means for getting"Peterpan

Thank you this is one of my favorites as well. I just happen to be eating cheese crakers wishing that my crush would notice me when i came up with it. I got over him luckly. But im not going to lie im glad i crushed on this guy most of my best work came out it :)

lissa_ GOLD said...
on Jan. 19 2013 at 3:03 pm
lissa_ GOLD, Salt Lake City, Utah
16 articles 0 photos 63 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you don't stand for something you'll fall for anything."- Suckerpunch
"The purpose of life is to be a better version of yourself."- Lucy Hale

This is by far my favorite poems of yours! It has a really nice pattern and rythm. It flows really well!  You should definately write more poems like this one. --indiewriter

on Jan. 16 2013 at 9:20 pm
RandomPoet SILVER, Apopka, Florida
9 articles 0 photos 36 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life is like a box of chocolates you never know what your gonna get"Forrest Gump
"Never say goodbye, because goodbye means going away and going away means for getting"Peterpan

Thank you. Espically for the advice about the commas and the is. But when i wrote it at the time i was wasnt thinking is i was thing going so after reading it and adding the is it made more sense. :)

XweienX said...
on Jan. 16 2013 at 3:40 am
XweienX, Shah Alam, Other
0 articles 0 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
Be inspired to be an inspiration.

Great meaning overall. What I would suggest is adding commas where needed or split the poem into lines.
Eg.
Each bite and chew
is the love i once had for you,
but as i eat away,
the feelings for you are same.

Also, i think there is a grammar mistake in the last sentence, "Sooner or later my heart (is) going to burst..."

Still, great job on the poem! :)

on Dec. 12 2012 at 10:14 am
RandomPoet SILVER, Apopka, Florida
9 articles 0 photos 36 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life is like a box of chocolates you never know what your gonna get"Forrest Gump
"Never say goodbye, because goodbye means going away and going away means for getting"Peterpan

Thank you :)

on Jul. 7 2012 at 8:23 pm
Your writing is really good, you should keep writing :D


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