April 8, 2012
I sit here,
On Sunday,
Pondering things,
as simple as why is the sky blue.

But then it hit me,
that question is not as simple as it may seem,
It has multiple layers,
like an onion.

I pause and look up into the vast sea in the sky,
what else have I been brushing off?
It seems like I thought I had my life under control,
when in reality,
it was spinning off and crashing,
like a car driving by a drunk driver who drove for the very last time.

I pause again and ruffle my hair,
My life is not that bad,
I may make mistakes once in a while,
but that is what keeps me human.

If I were perfect no one would want me,
they would see me as competition,
An enemy,
someone to destroy.

We get along just fine when we are classified as imperfect,
maybe because we all have this deep burning passion to create,
to explore,
to be the best.

I stop myself,
thinking I should leave these things up to psychology experts,
but then I think, why is it wrong to challenge the way we work?
Why did I even try to stop my train of thought,
right as it was about to pull into the station of enlightenment and happiness.

I felt wrong.
I felt like a feeling that there is no word to describe,
No label to stick to it,
No way to categorize my attitude.

And it felt good.
Sitting here on a Sunday afternoon,
sun shining on my face,
washing over me,
wrapping me in its warming rays of hope.

I felt sadness,
knowing I could never possibly change the world,
knowing that I could only make a sliver of a difference,
Knowing, only I, could possibly feel this way.

But as I stand up and sink my feet into this bountiful earth,
I can feel is energy.
I push into the grass with the pads of my feet,
and soar.

I toss my hair back,
my cascading locks of hair flowing in the gentle breeze,
and pierce the air with a noise joyous and sweet.

And I fall on my back,
feeling the gentle push of the earth against my tee shirt and shorts,
against my skin,
and I can feel it saying, “ Go. Get up and try again.”

I listen and push myself up.
I gaze at the sky,
the sea of blue,
and simply mutter,

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