When I am alone
Deep in the darkness of my room
When no one is there
I sit there and think

I think about
What if I was normal?
What If I was like the person I sit by in class?
Then I tell myself that will never happen

I think about
What if I had real friends?
What if someone acutely cared?
Then I tell myself that will never happen

I think about it
What if I looked better?
What if I wasn’t fat?
Then I tell myself that will never happen

When I am done thinking
I cry

I cry because
The bullies pick like a pick ax at a rock
Telling me I am fat, unpopular, unwanted, unneeded

Because the popular kids laugh and point
There laughing eats me away like a fat kid with a sandwich
I try to do things right but perfection is my enemy

I cry because the popular kids hit and kick
With every blow I feel a little bit more of me die
I don’t know why they do it all I know is it hurts

I cry because I have no true friends
They all look nice but I know behind that straight tree there are crooked roots
All I want in the world is one true friend

And last of all I but on a fake smile
As fake as school food
It looks nice and clean
But it just covers up scares
Of pain and suffering

I put on this smile because
I am no longer alone
I don’t want to draw attention
So I hide my pain deep down
And go one with life
Till it is time to cry