I'll give you the answer

March 23, 2012
By SrDeVine GOLD, Sacramento, California
SrDeVine GOLD, Sacramento, California
18 articles 0 photos 0 comments

I first observed the flaws of the world;
Through somewhat tinted glass,
Gripped fists equipped with words
self-aware of my own mask.
Every small insignificance,
Every key chain concern,
Letting me into lives where I learned
The lack of any original opinion or stance

It all comes to spoon fed savages
In individually manufactured packages
Things coming down to lust
Worldly promises superseded by such
An now, doubt lacked, I go forward just
Assured heaven won’t live up to much.
Beginning on that Wisconsin dock
Where my reaction was bogged
By dads yelling of tick tocks
I witnessed the drowning of a dog
For we measure death by thumbs
Not in paws of the innocent
Yet I understood that this meant
I’d forever view life’s laws numb
My dreams of a world lacking thing I couldn’t assure
Only pedestaled the life lost due to my own failure.

A few years deep my mind
Scars the earth’s surface
It’s not my desire for a god of kind
Intentions to self-serving clairvoyance

Quite simply met expectations decreed
And unsurprised when no one meets them
From that dock life loss did stem
The realization that it all starts with me
Disillusion with the description of the prescriptions
Of life like a dog, house, depressions, kids, wife
I see one by two, each family structure,
Fall true to the inevitability of some preventable rupture

So I kick over a dandelion
And watch it spread religion
Rooting to each finger tendon
Waiting to give me a poem
Only my wants fall true to my needs
And each dark taste my palate deceive
Murky subjective responses asking
Quite simply what it is you want through me.
Your selfish motives lacking sense
I’ll step heavy footed with no pretense
Past your drama of windblown sinews
And with broken heart, simply continue

The author's comments:
It suddenly occured to me one day, in a breath of inspiration, that since i was young i've been promised a future of complacency. after i saw a dog drown because i hesitated to jump into a lake to save it i realized everything is up to me. comparing myself to the lives of others has done nothing but disappoint me. After watching so many lives around me be destroyed by selfishness i have come to accept my own selfishness, not only accept, but embrace. I'd hope the last stanza relates to those of us who try to live altruistically but are only disappointed due to high expectations

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