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Metal Locket

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I keep a locket,
That is shaped like a heart,
No picture inside,
Just some wispy memories.

It reminds me of you,
So beautiful and intricate,
Complex but also simple,
Yet you are cold and hard as stone.

You are like the chain,
Shining as my accessory,
Yet when no one is watching,
You pull it tight and choke me.

Now I am cold and silent,
Beautiful even in death,
So they say,
Yet I feel nothing.

So when they ask about it,
I know you will lie anyway,
But at least tell them that,
I didn't want to stay.




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This article has 7 comments. Post your own!

dbk1098This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jun. 27, 2013 at 8:43 pm:
This is sooooo beautiful. I love the idea!!! The locket is a great poem starter! Hope that makes sense!
 
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Jade.I.AmThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 27, 2013 at 12:31 am:
This was really beautiful! My only criticism is that u said "yet" a lot.
 
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newsoulpoet said...
Jun. 26, 2013 at 11:58 pm:
Thanks! It all comes from my heart, so it is very emotional :)
 
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artist-todayThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jun. 26, 2013 at 11:52 pm:
I love the emotion and how you wrote it, it has great imagery and a good voice.
 
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Laugh-it-OutThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 26, 2013 at 8:45 pm:
This is really good and I can tell that the emoion in here is real! So great job, very relatable and I think what I most enjoy about your work is that we both write with simialr styles and it makes it easy to relate. Great Job! Anyway, thats all, off to read more of your work. Keep rockin new soul  
 
newsoulpoet replied...
Jun. 26, 2013 at 8:47 pm :
Thanks for the feedback! Do you have any suggestions of how I can improve my work?
 
Laugh-it-OutThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jun. 28, 2013 at 8:46 pm :
You have a lot of really good memories that help us see the person and the locket you are talking about., but i feel that if you showed more instead of told the reader how this person is like the locket, i feel that our already fantastic writing could be even better. :)
 
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