better off as one

March 28, 2012
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Dare you ask me what is on my mind & I shall tell you my thoughts are blank. Dare you ask me how I feel & I shall tell you never pain. Dare you ask me if I talk & I shall tell you I have nothing to say? Dare you ask me what is wrong & I shall say I am not ok? If you ask me what has happened then I hope you are prepared for the story of your life & I hope you are aware, that only I can tell you what goes on in my mind, how a broken heart feels & what it's like to lose time. If my words may scare you & you ask me to stop only then will I pick you up & never let you drop. If you say you feel my pain & pity is disagreed then & only then will I never let you leave. & if you say you love me I'll believe it all in time I will test you & if I trust you then I shall call you mine. But if you break what is broken & leave me yet with dust then never again will I look at you & only just because I loved you & I trusted you see the pain just hurts too much. Some say it shall take time these wounds will heal themselves but I have picked my stitches too many times to tell. & though you have explained it many times before that it's not because you don't love me but because you're so unsure. You make the wrong decisions, & you've had a hard life. A not so easy childhood & you taught yourself wrong from right. I have played my cards & yet I still don't understand why god would put you in my life if I cannot hold your hand. & as I look behind me now there is only one set of footprints there & as they slowly fade away I've become more & more aware that my life was not made easy though it's harder without you there. & so I'd like to thank you for all that you have done, I beg of not to save me I guess I'm better off as one.





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