its kind of funny.
funny without making you laugh,
ya know?
It's that kind of funny
that kind of makes you wanna die.
It sorta feels like your blood burns
and it rushes to your head in
a kind of funny way.
ya know?
like maybe if you hold in your rage much longer
your hilarious insides
will dissolve into yourself
and you'll just flip.
something will happen to the way you see
and the way you think and stuff, ya know?
It's funny cuz you think you have it bad.
but do you?
kind of funny i think
how everyone seems to compare there issues
with your issues
and you just want to almost laugh and say
hey man,
this is really funny and all,
but do you think you could
stop talking to me for a little while?
and maybe stop yelling?
and don't threaten me anymore?
maybe?
Its funny cuz you think they might pick up on it eventually.
Maybe they will notice your constant sarcasm and rudeness
and how you leave whenever they come home
and make sure you don't smile in front of them
so maybe they will understand just how much
you want so little to do with them.
you drop all these funny little hints,
but the punch line is
they don't get it.
they seem to think it's funnier
when you are the weak one.
and it kind of is, ya know?
the way you just sit there, and the longer you stare,
the angrier they get.
and then you're not quite sure what's going to happen next.
Then it's really funny when you are smacked so hard
you fall on the ground.
but you cant really do anything about it,
cuz there are no bruises, ya know?
you cant really put someone away for making your nose bleed.
it doesn't happen all the time
which is hilarious
because you know that so many people have it worse than you
but it still sucks, ya know?
but in a way that is sorta funny.
and people keep telling you to do something about it
but you laugh
cuz that's the best joke you've ever heard.
what can you even do?
call the cops?
that's ridiculous.
you can't put someone away
just because you don't feel safe in your own home.
you know you'll make it if you just remember not to push them too far.
and you haven't yet
but its funny cuz you've thought about it.
i mean really,
it doesn't really hurt so bad
to get a couple of bruises.
everyone gets those all the time.
it's not even a big deal.
and it makes you smile to think
that you just can't make yourself provoke them.
you only need to do it once to make them snap.
then you really could have them put away.
it's funny cuz you try to make yourself do it.
you prepare and everything.
but then everything gets so loud!
and you just can't do it.
because you're afraid.
it's kind of funny actually
but in a way that doesn't really make you laugh,
ya know?