I punish myself

March 30, 2012
I cut,
I punish myself for my stupidities,
I punish myself for not being good enough for you,
I punish myself for not being more like her,
I punish myself for being myself.

Deeper I push the blade,
Hotter I burn,
Harder I cry,
More pain goes away,
I picture you two,

You think I’m pathetic,
The troubled girl who is your burden,
That complicates your life.
Traps you.
The girl with the terrible past,
That’s hard to understand.

You don’t get it,
Why I cut,
You don’t understand,
Even if I hit bone,
What you did to me,
Will always cut me deeper.

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