I am so tired of this sick charade.

This cat and mice game is just ridiculous

And this poorly painted mask is getting the better of me again.

I am clothed in weights of pain and sorrow

Clad in chains of my own damn making.

I can never win this fight

The enemy is just too strong,

But all I'm after is a little slice of heaven

Just a moment or two to brighten the way.

But every time I step into light

I get burned.

I get burned by the people.

I get burned by the words.

I get burned by the meaning behind what they wanted to say.

This isn't right.

I can't speak through this gag.

This political

This emotional

This stifling gag.

What am I supposed to say to that?

Oh I'm just fine, don't worry about me.

It's all butterflies and pansies in my little world.

But look a little deeper now,

Past the flaking paint.

Look a little harder now,

Past all that light.

And all you'll see is darkness.

All you'll see is darkness.

Because I don't have enough of anything to spread around.

Somewhere, deep inside this ocean of emotion and torrent of pain,

I am.

Somewhere

I am.

-J