In a Room of Children

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I am the one
In the front row
With the toothy grin.

My best friend,
Who is a trickster,
Sits beside me.

And the blonde-haired boy,
The one in the back,
Is my nemesis.

Behind the rows of children
Hangs a painting
That depicts our joyful lives.

But the teacher to the left,
Old and stern,
Ruins the image of youth.

And out the window
Grows a sapling
That changes as we do.





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torilutz8 said...
May 22, 2012 at 9:07 am
Brought back memories of when I was little, good job :) Nice poem :)
 
Josika.Nav said...
May 22, 2012 at 5:09 am
hey! i love the imagery. poems like this can have multiple meanings and can be interpreted by the reader in his/her own way , for example: behind_a_plastic _smile thought you were talking about  becoming bitter adults from naive kids but i thought of it as the personal and physical growth that we all undergo. i think you did a really good job :) keep writing :D
 
Aster. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
May 21, 2012 at 9:07 pm
I like how you take a classroom and turn in into what it really is, if you know what I mean. Your explanation of a child's mind is fairly accurate as far as I can remember. The thing I would change is the way you space your stanzas, but like I said before, poetry is an artform. That's my "artistic" opinion.
 
DaisyAngel replied...
May 26, 2012 at 10:06 am
How would I replace the stanzas in this poem? I'm just not sure what you mean. :D
 
Aster. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
May 27, 2012 at 11:53 am

I would maybe try and combine some of the stanzas, if that makes any sense :-), putting the first two together, for example...

I am the one 

In the front row

With the toothy grin

My Best friend

Who is a trickster

Sits beside me

 
DaisyAngel replied...
May 29, 2012 at 8:09 pm
It wouldn't make any sense for me to do that, though, because each stanza focuses on a different person or object. Stanzas are just like paragraphs in prose. You wouldn't write about the different animals in Africa, give each animal a separate paragraph, and then put elephants and lions in the same paragraph. It would shift the focal point and possibly change the meaning of the story.
 
Aster. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
May 29, 2012 at 8:32 pm
Hey, just my opinion. It's totally your poem. It would be great if you changed it or if you left it, either way i think it's good. 
 
Behind_a_Plastic_Smile said...
May 21, 2012 at 8:00 pm
hmmm...interesting, i wanna say that it protrays the process and changes that go as we age from naive childen to bitter old people...am i rite?
 
DaisyAngel replied...
May 29, 2012 at 8:18 pm
I think that everyone is entitled to think whatever they want when they read a poem or story. That's the whole fun of it. But, if you must know, this poem was written simply as a class assignment. I was told to think of a grade level and write a poem. All of these people exist, and I just wrote it as I remembered. My first grade teacher was evil, which is why I made her seem so bitter. The boy in this poem was truly my enemy. The tree that grows outside my school started as a sapling, and now it... (more »)
 
IAmWhoIWantToBe said...
May 21, 2012 at 7:16 pm
I like this poem. And I get what you mean. Or do I? I like how you introduce us to a usual beginning and let out what you really thought in the end. I really like the fourth to sixth lines especially. Keep it up!
 
Inksy said...
May 21, 2012 at 4:02 pm
This made me smile. Not many poems do that. It was just adorable! It brings me back to memories of elementary school where we knew exactly who everyone was; and everything was hunky-dory (besides the strict teacher and the rude boys, of course (: ). Keep writing! 5/5
 
these-roses said...
May 21, 2012 at 3:49 pm
maybe this is just me but i don't really get what the main idea is.... i mean i like it and all but some parts just confuse me :/
 
tears-of-an-angel said...
May 21, 2012 at 3:25 pm

hey i really like this i love how its short and simple, like u didnt put a lot of thought into it yet it turned out perfect... kee[p up the gud work

 

 

 and u dont have to look at my stuff...

 
JustFriends939 said...
Apr. 5, 2012 at 7:25 am
THis is really good. It may be short but it tells a story
 
DaisyAngel replied...
Apr. 8, 2012 at 2:34 pm
Thanks so much for commenting!
 
hippiechick99 said...
Apr. 4, 2012 at 9:52 pm
I really liked the ending. Check out my work.
 
DaisyAngel replied...
Apr. 8, 2012 at 2:32 pm
I'd love to! Thanks for commenting. I really appreciate it!
 
Nick L. said...
Apr. 1, 2012 at 11:30 pm
Very true. In so many ways. 
 
DaisyAngel replied...
Apr. 2, 2012 at 5:10 pm
Thanks for commenting! I really appreciate it!
 
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