Jesus Didn't Tap

March 12, 2012
Let's be fair now,
Seeing my friends and family has something I don't, a diploma and a job, most of all happiness,
And I really hate who I am becoming.
Am I really the victim of self-destruction? Just to drink until my heart is rid of all my hate and sorrow.
I don't know anymore, where my life is going, this could be pleading for a way out of my f***ed up life.
I just want to be sitting on the couch and go to school again, no rush to be paying bills or finding food in a trash can.
If you are looking for me, I'll be the guy passed out in the dumpster outside of the store,
Most days I feel like jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge and into traffic. God is now a sad savior to me, he is no use to my needs.
I'll cross my heart and close my eyes just to see your fading face before I depart.
Come here and beat me down to the ground, cut me up, tell me I'm not the man I used to be.
I'm tired of being a shadow of my former self.
This is not a self-memoir this is me, writing you a letter, telling you that I gave up everything for you.
All you have to is hear these words, listening to my words jump off the page with pain and down the toilet like my life.
I'll take my depression and kill myself if that means getting you out of my head,
You have f***ed with me for too long and you were the only one to get your way.
I want to smash your f***ing face in with my whiskey bottle and watch your blood slowly gush on the floor.
Leave scars all over you with my e-xacto knife, but I won't I'm having more fun drowning my organs to death.
Christmas won't come this year for me; my better life is no longer here, only my mistakes and memories.
So, here is an ode to my feelings about you. Screw You, I'm sick of having your voice and face etched in my brain.

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