Shadow Aspect | Teen Ink

Shadow Aspect

March 27, 2012
By AgentOrange789 GOLD, Friendswood, Texas
AgentOrange789 GOLD, Friendswood, Texas
16 articles 0 photos 59 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It's a saying they have, that a man has a false heart in his mouth for the world to see, another in his breast to show to his special friends and his family, and the real one, the true one, the secret one, which is never known to anyone except to himself alone, hidden only God knows where."
-James Clavell, "Shogun"


Sleep drags me, yet again,
Into the deepest trench of my being
Thrown once more into the nightmare
Sanity preyed upon by my deepest nature

A grotesque vision of my deeper self
Deformed, mutilated, all that I despise
Projected within the monster I have created
A wretched product of the imagination

Indescribable terror has overtaken me
I fight with all my being to escape
To turn my eyes away from the monstrosity
Yet nothing can save me from the truth

I am frozen, paralyzed, rendered helpless
As my own malevolence closes in
All logic and reason shattered within the plane,
Yet dare I question reality?

Inches away from annihilation
The best makes his final attack
The last image, my own distorted face
Reflected in its bloody, flaming eyes…

“Good morning, it is now 7:00. This is your host John Smith on Local KRST 95.1.”


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This article has 9 comments.


on Oct. 13 2012 at 1:54 pm
AnthonyDavidHall PLATINUM, Valrico, Florida
23 articles 0 photos 15 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth." - Oscar Wilde

I think you have real potential. A few more years of refining and you'll be an astounding poet.

Ariya GOLD said...
on Jun. 28 2012 at 2:09 pm
Ariya GOLD, Charleston, South Carolina
12 articles 1 photo 25 comments

Favorite Quote:
Some men just want to watch the world burn.
-Alfred (Batman Begins)

I like how you describe the evil "deeper self" with words like "mutilated" it instilled the poem with great imagry and emotion.

dreamshaker said...
on Apr. 2 2012 at 10:10 pm
dreamshaker, Clarkston, Michigan
0 articles 0 photos 64 comments

This is incredible. You're a very talented poet...

Seriously, though, this was beautiful. My favorite line was "Sanity preyed upon by my deepest nature", but the ending...wow. It was absolute perfection - a really powerful way to end it.

I can't offer an advice, as there's not a thing I would change. Well done


on Apr. 2 2012 at 5:53 pm
Behind_a_Plastic_Smile GOLD, Roseville, California
17 articles 1 photo 129 comments

Favorite Quote:
"if you're not 1st you're last"

WOW!! jus WOW- this was really good i'm jealious its amazing. that last line: perfect. i added this to my favorites

on Apr. 2 2012 at 3:36 pm
SpringRayyn PLATINUM, Lakeville, Minnesota
34 articles 2 photos 658 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Don't punish yourself," she heard her say again, but there would be punishment and pain, and there would be happiness too. That was writing."
--Markus Zusak, "The Book Thief"

This poem really draws one in, and the ending is actually so disturbing. I really liked that about it. I also loved the way that it makes it hard to tell what is real and what is the dream. And your diction is superb! It's a wonderful poem.

on Apr. 2 2012 at 7:44 am
loveissmiles GOLD, Lynn, Indiana
13 articles 0 photos 102 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I live for the nights I can't remember with the people I will never forget." -Carassisa M-<3

"What the mind can perceive, the body can achieve." -Softball Coach Steve B-

This is beautiful!!!!! Morbid, but beautiful! I loved the lines, "A grotesque vision of my deeper self
Deformed, mutilated, all that I despise" But i have to know, is it supposed to be beast instrad of best in the line, "The best makes his final attack" If not im a little confused. But if it is i totally understand. Reguarless i Totally love this.

 

If you could please comment on my new piece, "Tribute to his singing heart." it would make me really happy. :)


butterfly123 said...
on Apr. 2 2012 at 1:06 am
butterfly123, Banglore, Other
0 articles 0 photos 408 comments

hey!

absolutely beautiful. i love the way you have given a detailed descripton , such that, i can actually picture the whole poem in my head .  "I am frozen, paralyzed, rendered helpless" , sometimes i feel like that too. amazing piece and keep writing :)


on Apr. 1 2012 at 4:52 pm
eternal_sunshine SILVER, Minnetonka, Minnesota
8 articles 0 photos 46 comments

Favorite Quote:
Laugh, and the world laughs with you;
Weep, and you weep alone.
For the sad old earth must borrow it's mirth,
But has trouble enough of its own.

I really like this one. It was very vividly detailed, and it took me back to nightmares that I had had. I especially liked the line, "Sanity preyed upon by my deepest nature." Flowed really well, and the ending was awesome. Nice job

on Apr. 1 2012 at 10:51 am
beautifulspirit PLATINUM, Alpharetta, Georgia
35 articles 0 photos 1398 comments

Favorite Quote:
The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.
--Eleanor Roosevelt

Cool~ Typical nightmare described so vividly. So in the nightmare, you were your own monster? Like the ending---the abrupt awakening of the speaker.