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The Monster in the Mirror

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Can't you see the monster? Can't you see?
That thing; Hideous monster. It's me...
They say a vampire's reflection will never show,
So why allow this hideousness to grow?
'Tis not a reflection of the outside,
But an aperture to the things that hide.
Attaching to others, just like a leech,
Gifted with text, not speech.
Unable to delve into its own thought,
With such confusion, becomes overwrought.
Hoping to find solace within written word,
Have you ever of heard a thing so absurd?
Have you yet to notice the beast? Still unable to see?
That monster in the mirror...It's me.



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SpringRayynThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Mar. 31, 2012 at 10:02 am
I just love this poem so much. I don't even have a reason, I'm sorry. It's just...wonderful.
 
eternal_sunshine said...
Mar. 30, 2012 at 9:40 pm
Wow, I really love this one! Nice word choice and sentence structure, it flows and reads really well. Nice job
 
Behind_a_Plastic_Smile said...
Mar. 30, 2012 at 7:41 pm
I actually really like this. It has a nice flow to it and I just love your diction. There’s just a few little thing I would change like I would remove the “Can you see it?” in the first line and an “of” after heard in the 12th verse. But other then that I think its very good.
 
NickyJ said...
Mar. 30, 2012 at 3:44 pm

This poem is on the weak the side, and there are quite a few quirks, but some phrases you have here are written well enough. I like the use of a more sophisticated language, or at least what you tried to use, specifically " 'Tis not..." but the rest of that line ruins the first part of it, simply because the rest is more awkward and in the context of the entire poem sounds forced. I can't help but think you could have substituted a grander ending to that line but in such a way as to not ruin ... (more »)

 
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