To Being Young

March 25, 2012
By eternal_sunshine SILVER, Minnetonka, Minnesota
eternal_sunshine SILVER, Minnetonka, Minnesota
8 articles 0 photos 46 comments

Favorite Quote:
Laugh, and the world laughs with you;
Weep, and you weep alone.
For the sad old earth must borrow it's mirth,
But has trouble enough of its own.


Tonight, we are young
So let’s cry our hearts out
over things we’ll soon forget
Let’s lose ourselves
and paint memories smeared with regret
Let’s bruise ourselves
pushed by insecurities and self loathing
Let’s feel our faith dwindling
as we become “appropriate audiences” to things which shock us
Let’s cry our hearts out,
because we’re not immune to it yet
And let’s pray to the Gods we question
that someone, somewhere out there
feels the way we do

The author's comments:
I hope that this piece will connect with teens, and the teenager inside of every adult.

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This article has 15 comments.


on Apr. 8 2012 at 11:45 am
JoPepper PLATINUM, Annandale, Virginia
35 articles 0 photos 782 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Freedom is the ability to not care what the other person thinks."

"Not all those who wander are lost" --JRR Tolkien

"When you are listening to music it is better to cover your eyes than your ears." --Jose' Bergamin

You did fantastic at describing what many people feel, and most the time they feel alone!  Keep writing!!! :D

on Apr. 7 2012 at 12:09 pm
eternal_sunshine SILVER, Minnetonka, Minnesota
8 articles 0 photos 46 comments

Favorite Quote:
Laugh, and the world laughs with you;
Weep, and you weep alone.
For the sad old earth must borrow it's mirth,
But has trouble enough of its own.

That is exactly what I was going for. I am so glad you connected with it. Thank you for reading and commenting

schan GOLD said...
on Apr. 7 2012 at 11:12 am
schan GOLD, Taipei, Other
17 articles 0 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
“Let us permit nature to have her way. She understands her business better than we do.”
-Michel de Montaigne

This reminds me of every other older person who tells us to enjoy our youth. I constantly wonder if I'm the only one who feels confused, scared, or alone. This poem makes me see that I'm not the only one, and for that, I thank you. 

on Apr. 6 2012 at 10:14 pm
eternal_sunshine SILVER, Minnetonka, Minnesota
8 articles 0 photos 46 comments

Favorite Quote:
Laugh, and the world laughs with you;
Weep, and you weep alone.
For the sad old earth must borrow it's mirth,
But has trouble enough of its own.

Thanks! :)

on Apr. 6 2012 at 7:16 pm
koolkat101love SILVER, Palm Bay, Florida
7 articles 0 photos 15 comments

Favorite Quote:
"My thoughts are stars I cannot fathom into constellations."

This poem is perfect and basically says what being a teenager is about. We are supposed to make mistakes and this is the time to figure out he we are by trying new things and making these mistakes.

on Apr. 3 2012 at 7:49 am
eternal_sunshine SILVER, Minnetonka, Minnesota
8 articles 0 photos 46 comments

Favorite Quote:
Laugh, and the world laughs with you;
Weep, and you weep alone.
For the sad old earth must borrow it's mirth,
But has trouble enough of its own.

Wow thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment. I agree with your critique, I struggled with that long line. Thank you so much :)

on Apr. 3 2012 at 7:41 am
loveissmiles GOLD, Lynn, Indiana
13 articles 0 photos 102 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I live for the nights I can't remember with the people I will never forget." -Carassisa M-<3

"What the mind can perceive, the body can achieve." -Softball Coach Steve B-

This is really good, and i just wanted to say thanks for joining, and being so active as a new member!!! I love seeing new people on here!

 

Anyhoo:), i really like this, but i wish you would have shortened the really long line. Im not saying to rewrite, simply break it up. Other than that i absolutely adore this. It was beautifully written, and i love reading and writing free verse. If you want to feel free to check out some more of my work. "Tribute to his singing heart" is my only haiku, but i have a lot of free verse, limericks, and one nonfiction piece.

 

Anyway, once again, this is a really beautiful piece, and i look forward to seeing more from you on this site, please let me know when you post something new, because you have an incredible amount of talent, and i really enjoy the way you write. :]

 

keep writing!! i love it!


on Apr. 2 2012 at 11:45 am
eternal_sunshine SILVER, Minnetonka, Minnesota
8 articles 0 photos 46 comments

Favorite Quote:
Laugh, and the world laughs with you;
Weep, and you weep alone.
For the sad old earth must borrow it's mirth,
But has trouble enough of its own.

Thank you! :)

on Apr. 2 2012 at 7:47 am
eternal_sunshine SILVER, Minnetonka, Minnesota
8 articles 0 photos 46 comments

Favorite Quote:
Laugh, and the world laughs with you;
Weep, and you weep alone.
For the sad old earth must borrow it's mirth,
But has trouble enough of its own.

Yeah I think I did that to make sure it flowed well.

Thank you for your comment :)


butterfly123 said...
on Apr. 2 2012 at 12:52 am
butterfly123, Banglore, Other
0 articles 0 photos 408 comments

hey!

amazing piece! i love the way it flows and i absolutely adore the phrase 'paint memories' . great work and keep writing! :)


on Apr. 1 2012 at 10:45 pm
AgentOrange789 GOLD, Friendswood, Texas
16 articles 0 photos 59 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It's a saying they have, that a man has a false heart in his mouth for the world to see, another in his breast to show to his special friends and his family, and the real one, the true one, the secret one, which is never known to anyone except to himself alone, hidden only God knows where."
-James Clavell, "Shogun"

I really like this. Were you trying to rhyme "forget" with "regret"? Because I feel like it somehow works nicely against the free-verse in the rest of the poem.

on Apr. 1 2012 at 5:14 pm
eternal_sunshine SILVER, Minnetonka, Minnesota
8 articles 0 photos 46 comments

Favorite Quote:
Laugh, and the world laughs with you;
Weep, and you weep alone.
For the sad old earth must borrow it's mirth,
But has trouble enough of its own.

Wow thank you! I appreciate it :)

on Apr. 1 2012 at 5:07 pm
beautifulspirit PLATINUM, Alpharetta, Georgia
35 articles 0 photos 1401 comments

Favorite Quote:
The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.
--Eleanor Roosevelt

Awesome---I felt that in any moment the poem would break into song. This could be a great intro for a song. It made me wanna be a teen forever---you've described a period of life that holds such memories:)

on Apr. 1 2012 at 11:43 am
eternal_sunshine SILVER, Minnetonka, Minnesota
8 articles 0 photos 46 comments

Favorite Quote:
Laugh, and the world laughs with you;
Weep, and you weep alone.
For the sad old earth must borrow it's mirth,
But has trouble enough of its own.

Thank you! I appreciate your feedback.

on Apr. 1 2012 at 11:21 am
Behind_a_Plastic_Smile GOLD, Roseville, California
17 articles 1 photo 129 comments

Favorite Quote:
"if you're not 1st you're last"

This was very interesting. I loved your message and it was clearly protrayed. In the begining you had this very nice flow going on, yet you kind of lost it as you progressed. Also I wasn't sure about the use of "let's cry our hearts out" the 2nd time around. I think a fresh idea was have worked better there.

 

Besides those little think I thought this was really good. 





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