unfinished tale of the heart

you asked for a story
with a theme
a purpose
a lesson from all the madness

i started
i never stopped
i can't stop
why?
all because

it is the one God has written for me
it is the one i am supposed to create
for me
by me

now i know
i am far down the rabbit hole
and as mad as the hatter
and as late as the white rabbit
and have lost myself just like alice

i

for whatever reason

am still me
take all of those personas
jam them into one body
one heart
one mind
one soul
and the product
me
just me
as i should be
as i should've been
as i will be

as alice once asked 
"which way should i go"
cheshire cat with all his wiseness asked "where do you want to go"
"i don't know"
"then, i guess, it doesn't really matter"

i am my own alice
fighting my own battles
fighting my own demons
breathing until i am supposed to breathe no more

walking until i can walk no more
sometimes winning the fight with the demons inside
sometimes
most of the time
losing the fight
but still
just like alice
my story is unfinished
if we stop here

so as you see
i am as mad as the hatter
weird as the cheshire cat
late as the white rabbit
and as lost as alice
but overall
i am still me
who ever that may be
demons, scars, flaws, and all
but as many as mistakes and heart breaks i make
i make hope and love
which one day
i hope you will see
will over shine them all

i am not finished oh dear haters
oh dear family
oh dear friends
oh dear lovers
oh dear self
because this time
no matter how many times i fall
only to find myself
my story will not stop
so please
don't stop me
don't leave me unfinished
don't leave me...
and my muchness
without me
because one day
you will realize
maybe
just maybe
this "alice"
can become the best she can ever be
and so much more








but dear life,
dear self,
dear friends,
family,
everyone
please
don't leave me
an unfinished story of a twisted heart...





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