it is something i can't obtain
something i wish for every night
so i can please you all
hopefully...one day
to please me too

i may look like a perfect girl
but i am far from it
i am not a size 2
i like carbs
at times
i am not blond
i have every natural hair color
i am not blue eyed
i am a green eyed gem
i do not look like you
or the person next to you
i may try
but overall i look like me
at times i don't like it
at times i hate my appearance
at times...most times...i want to be a size two

i want to be your definition of beautiful
not my own
i want to small
but i have curves
i want to be put together
but that is not me
i am no barbie girl
so i have tried
and i have fallen
and i have risen again

for you
and for me
i stopped eating
for you
and for me
i can't call myself pretty
for you
and for me
i try to be tan and beautiful

but because of you
i do it for me
trying to obtain pure perfection
and failing time and time again
i have problems
i have suffered
i do cry
but you can't see my tear stains
i have battle scars
but i don't show them to the world
i have lost me
and i don't know where to start by finding me
i am no barbie girl

all in all
i am not perfect
even though i try to be
pure perfection haunts me
taunts me
scares me
why? because it is something i can never be

so world,
if you want to judge me
be ready
because one day
i will become the perfect me
so wait and see
the person i will be
maybe not today
maybe not tomorrow
but one day world
you will see
how this girl
became me