the life i've never shared

March 15, 2012
By , Plano, TX
in a perfect world
there is a perfect you and me
but this is no perfect world you see
so there is no perfect you and me

in this not so perfect world
there are not so perfect times
not so perfect lives
not so perfect, anything

so being the not so perfect person that i am
i have a different life
one that hides
the one that no one ever sees
because i always thought that it was ok to hide
to lie
to cry alone in a crowed room

so who is the real me i ask?
and to that i know no answer
no response of words
so i can only show you
and show me too

i am letting go i tell you
i am letting go of every secret that keeps me away from a true life
every pain that i can never say, i will say
every tear that no one ever saw
will be shown
i am letting everything come out
i am letting everything go

goodbye miss vague girl
hello miss i am done living like this
yes you dad,
i am done with you continually hurting me
i will let someone in who i can talk to it about
yes bullies,
you have hurt me
and you have taught me to never not care about
anyone again
yes family,
i love you
but sometimes now and in the past, you have hurt me
and that is not ok
yes best friend,
i am so scared
but i am done hiding
so i will let you in
yes world,
i am not going to give up
no matter how hard to try to push me down
yes depression,
you still hover
and may always be there
but i am falling up the rabbit hole
yes soul,
i am going to live
yes heart,
it is time for you and my soul
to fly
and fly everywhere
yes myself,
i will prove me wrong
so world
this is end of living the life i have never shared
this is the end of walking alone
this is the end of hiding
this is the start
of me flying
out of the rabbit hole

so wait and see how the broken soul

grew wings

and never once

looked back

live long life
live long

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