I Don't Want

Things seem useless to me now.
Without love I feel empty and useless and pathetic.
I feel as if my life is worthless.
I’m losing the memories of all those good times and I don’t want to!
I need them.

Am I really in love with him?
Is this what love feels like?
Where you ache to see and touch him or talk to him?
Where you hide or run from him?
Where you cry for no particular reason at all?
Where your heart is frozen and you won’t let another person in because you still “have hope”?

Tell me, what is love?
Will I ever get him out of my mind and every thought?
Will I ever stop thinking and just “let go”?

I don’t want to think I love…
I don’t love him!
I don’t love him!
I have to keep repeating this to myself.

I’m so tired.
Sick and tired!
I’m so sick and tired of being…
My head…I’m making myself sick from this.
Please God! Please!
I don’t want to cry anymore.
Please. Please.

Please. Somebody. Help me.
It hurts so much.
I just want to sleep now.
And dream.
Dream about Ireland and me.
Me in Ireland—I want to get away.
I have to.

Is somebody out there?
Nobody seems to hear me.
I need somebody—it hurts!

Four years of discovery!
Two years of tears in pain.
Lifetime of loneliness?
Tears! Please, I beg you.
End this torture.