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Rot! (Letter To His Killer)
I never wanted that bullet to go through,
I never imagined what it would do
The day you took my brother,
You thought it would make you look tougher.
But there’s nothing you can do,
As I dream of killing you
Your eyes always wandering around,
And you jump when you hear the smallest sound.
I’ll destroy your crowd,
Then I’ll break your crown
There’ll be no one else,
Just you and myself.
Pull you lower,
Drag you under
Tell the devil what you caused me,
You took my beloved SD.
You took his life,
And now you think you’re such a badass
You know you’re not,
I hope you rot.
Chasing you down,
Slamming you onto the ground
You’ll want to fight back,
You’re fists won’t cause a crack.
I’ll pull out the blade,
Remembering Danny’s pain
Cutting you up,
Paying for what you have done.
I’ll see you bleed,
Knowing it’s not much fun
Then there’ll be whispers in my ears,
Causing me more fears.
Stomping on your skull,
Hearing your shouts in the hall
Breaking your ribs,
As you try to stop me with your fibs.
Pulling out your throat,
And I’ll think of how much it hurts;
You’ll keep begging for the pain to stop,
All I’ll say, “Rot!”
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I spent the following months doing nothing. I stopped thinking, hearing music, reading, and writing. I was supposed to be healing. The only thing I did was get angrier. The male who killed my brother went on living his life as if he had done nothing wrong.
I wanted him to know how much I hated him. I thought I could write him a letter. I knew he would never receive it, but I wanted to write it anyway. As I wrote, it turned out to be more of a poem instead of a letter. I described the way I would cause him pain, how he would beg me to stop, but I wouldn’t give him any mercy. I wanted him to know how angry I was. “Rot!” expressed exactly what I felt towards him.