Let Go

A little girl in polka dots,
Skipped along the streets this day,
She gripped the string of her balloon
Color of the morning sun in May,
Oh how she loved her bubble of air-
She’d never let it float away,
But say she had let loose,
Well, people may have heard others say…

Look at that! A drifting orb of yellow,
Closest thing to light I’ve seen today,
I wonder if it knows where the sun did go,
Maybe the place my husband left long ago,
Leaving his wife a widow…
This world needs more color like that balloon!
I’ll garden some flowers of rainbow,
… Smiling feels nice… I’ve got tulips to grow!

Look at that! A flying lone dome,
Same color of the ribbon on our door,
Showing my papa’s still in the battle zone,
He’s been fighting in the war for so long…
Maybe it’s a sign, Daddy’s coming home!
For now, I’ll write some letters,
Let the soldiers know they aren’t alone,
… I hope he calls soon… Yes, I hear the phone!

Look at that! A lost balloon,
One can lose something beautiful in a moment…
I’m not letting her get away; I’ll make her swoon,
I’ll save up all my money, buy a nice ring,
Propose to her under all the stars and moon,
I love her! Why have I taken so long?
I’m gonna make this girl my wife, and it’ll be soon,
… A simple happening… Now I’m ready to be a groom!

What joy a little balloon had spread
To people wherever it did blow,
But none of that ever happened for the girl never did
Let go.

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Rena_Rox said...
Jul. 25, 2012 at 12:25 am:

This is beautiful! I love how you showed multiple different realistic reactions. The fact that the girl didn't let go and these things didn't happen is an unfortunate truth in the world. I'm not sure if this is what you were trying to say, but what I got from your poem was that there isn't going to be a signal to let you know when something's going to happen or when to do something. You have to do it yourself. Thank you for crafting this work of art and keep it up. :)

thetruthawaits94 replied...
Aug. 18, 2012 at 12:50 am :

Yes! That is exactly my point of view here. Share joy, spread happiness, and amazing things can happen that you would have never guessed possible from such a simple act. Of course, the balloon is a metaphor intended to represent JOY. Thanks so much for reading! It makes me sooo happy that you liked it!

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BillM said...
Mar. 24, 2012 at 4:48 pm:

I haven't been on the site in a while because I was having problems being able to comment and see my own work. It fixed itself today and I saw you were still on the forums and I really wanted to check out your work and see how you've progressed in your writing. Honestly, this is the most beautiful and insightful piece I've ever read by you. It invokes so much emotion and has so much depth; I can really see the connections you are making in your writing. Those are the steps writ... (more »)

thetruthawaits94 replied...
Mar. 24, 2012 at 5:56 pm :

Thanks! Actually I haven't been on the site for a long while, either, but just recently I had some free time on my hands so i got back on, and i just submitted this one! Thanks so much for your comment! I would love to read some more of your work, too!

Eirias replied...
Jun. 10, 2012 at 10:22 pm :

Like Bill, I unfortunately had to leave the site because of those same glitches. I switched to GoogleChrome, and it works fine now. So, my apologies for absence. Now, about the piece:

Wow. I love this concept. The execution, not so much, but more about that later. This idea . . . that letting go lets other experience the joy . . . I have no words.

You once told me that you don't write "formally" like I do. There are so many misconceptions to that statement! "Relative Perspective... (more »)

thetruthawaits94 replied...
Jul. 19, 2012 at 1:12 pm :

I'm definitely going to attempt to rewrite this poem. I agree that - I don't know about meter- but the flow is definitely weak and choppy in some places! If i rewrite this today (or sometime soon) can i ask you to reread it for me? :) And thank you, I'm glad you like the purpose of the poem!

P.S. - I hope I never offended you before by saying that you write "formally". I think your style is brilliant and unique to most on Teenink which is important! I think what i mean to say is that I... (more »)

Eirias replied...
Jul. 21, 2012 at 7:53 am :

Yes! If you rewrite it, I would love to see it. I agree that you might not need consitant meter, but an awareness of it definately helps . . . a lot of times before I paid attention to meter, I didn't like a piece but couldn't figure out why. Now, I can usually attribute it to awkward meter (this even helped me on my prose, too). And by the way, I love giving a piece intense editing. A lot of people give a piece a one-time read, and then decide that was enough; perfectionist that I am, I like... (more »)