My fingers tremble – body quakes
I shut my eyes; bite my lips
hard.
A tear creases over my cheek,
slow and warm.
My cold finger swipes it quick,
hoping no one is there to see.
It’s hard to find a reason to
believe in anything
little less
everything.
Everything attacks my walls,
people in riots
with fire and guns,
shouting and chanting,
drilling the walls closer
until there’s no more room to
breathe.
Clenching my teeth hard,
grinding them until they’re flat.
I want to crawl out of the
skin I'm in.
Coiled into a little ball,
knees to my chest,
all in my desperate attempt
to hold myself together.
And the whole place shakes,
my barriers aren’t much.
I shake with them,
falling and twisting in awkward
and uncontrollable motions.
Crumbs fall down on me,
Hitting me.
Wounding me.
My eyes flash open sharp
to the sight of my brick wall
cracking.