I Do Want

March 19, 2012
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It’s not that I haven’t heard it all before,
It’s not that I don’t believe the lore
About distance and different places and different times and different faces.

It’s not that I can’t,
It’s not that I pant
And find myself out of breath when I think of yours.

I do know why,
I do so try
And lie and sleep and forget and wake up with abandoned truth.

I do want to,
I do go through
All the others that I got over and remember with no tears.

It’s that I look at a map and our distance is only the width of my finger,
It’s that I scramble for air and the smell of your kiss seems to linger,
It’s that I dream of you and hold on to the soft piercing lie,
It’s that you’re the one whose warmth I think of and feel my heart cry.

I hope to get over what happened
And not be so saddened
So I crumple up the map and spray some air freshener
And I disregard a nap and check the temperature.

I yearn to be myself
And leave you yourself
So I slowly trudge through the rain and the pain
And I’ll surely find blue sweet skies remain.

I may be without you,
But I’ll find something new.
It may take days and it may take years,
It may take ache and it may take tears,
But it gives something to dream of
And something to love.

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