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No, Im Not Ok

People ask “Are you ok?”
Apparently they can see the pain on my face
“Yea”, is what usually comes out,
Along with a fake smile while I’m dying on the inside

People say they know me
But they don’t know the most important part…
My soul is dark and empty,
So are my eyes and heart

They don’t know what goes on in my life
So they don’t know me

All my dad does is criticize me
Never offering his help
Sometimes it feels like I’m not his daughter,
Like I’m just some girl that he’s responsible for,
Never being a dad

Both my parents put me in the middle
Why do I have to be the adult when it comes to them?
There’s so much more that makes me hurt
I cant even bare it…
But what people don’t know
Keeps my life from becoming hell

You might call me emo
But I say Me-a person-myself
Someone I never wanted to be
That’s why no one can ever know

But I still wish for the day
When I know it’ll be ok
When a friend asks “What’s wrong?”
And I can finally say “Everything.”
While a tear sheds down my face

I know it’ll never happen,
I know it’s not going to be alright
Just take away my pain,
Take away my fright

You cant mend my broken heart
I’m not a toy, I cant be fixed
My life has fallen apart
There’s nothing else that clicks

He asked “What’s wrong?”
I know what I wanted to say
But I showed my fake smile anyway and said,
“Nothing”, then turned around
And whispered “Everything.”

I know what I have to do
To be the person I wanted to be
With the silence as my cue
No one heard the gunshot
And now I can be me




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