On the Edge

March 16, 2012
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Horror strikes a my eyes when their loved ones are ill,
It makes me suffer and feel like everything is going downhill.
I’m so overwhelmed, terrified, and troubled by the events that have occurred lately,
My grandmother, sister, dog, grandfather, and brother have been worrying me greatly.

I am on edge,
Close to the ledge,
Ready to jump,
And free fall onto my rump.

My ex-lover has been confusing me to the point of tears,
First she is rude and nasty, and then she shows compassion for my life she fears.
She is like a bee that makes delicious honey,
But then she will sting you, and laugh like it’s funny.

I cut and bleed to know I can still feel,
My life is so stressful that I feel like a hamster on a never ending the wheel.
I can not take anymore of the stress that comes with changing medications,
For now I am having trouble with headaches, sleep, eating, and everyday communications.

I have been so angry, and so mad,
I have been so disrespectful, and so bad,
I can’t take my depression anymore,
I have given up and have lost the war.

I am never going to get better,
Which is the point of this letter,
Life will never seem bearable because of my constant pain,
Even as I write this elegy I am greatly stressing my brain.

I just want a normal life,
I want to be happy, finish school, become whatever I choose, and have kids and a wife.
But I know that isn’t possible because I will be burdened with this disease forever.
I have no belief that God wants me healthy or happy whatsoever.

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