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Unescorted and Alone

He sat there unescorted and alone, at the rusted rooftop where they had shared their first kiss, looking out past the intrusion of skyscrapers into the sunset. It was wondrously beautiful just as she was. The effervescent colors illuminating the sky just as the colors of her eyes radiated her resplendent smile. He reminisced about their romance and the time they had consumed together. He recalled the bickering and how the uproar of the disagreements had lit up the dimness of their relationship which often led to a much more spirited love. He couldn’t quiet grasp the reason why she had left but he valued independence and so he valued their estrangement. He never asked for consent or permission, only forgiveness and she never asked for exorbitant gifts but he kept presenting her with them. The stains on his ragged slate jeans and the spatters on her scarlet skirt illustrated the relish of their time spent at the forsaken art studio at the corner of his street. They shared two summers together; comprehensive and eventful. Somedays they would spend hours together whether it was at her unruffled house or down by the windswept seaboard, but other days, not even a phone call would be received. He had never endured a love for someone quite like this, and with that came the fact that he had never endured a tragic separation like this. Clasping the beer he had purloined from his father’s fridge, he unfastened it and drank and drank and drank until there was no more beer. Until there was no more affectionate sentiments for her.




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This article has 10 comments. Post your own!

the-earth-between-our-toesThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
today at 10:52 am:
I think you would be able to publish a book one day. I love the way you write. Keep it up
 
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writer3499 said...
Jul. 3, 2012 at 12:28 pm:
I loves the detail as well as the story line! Just an overall awesome poem! Would you mind commenting on my work...i need some tips!
 
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emptymotelsThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 30, 2012 at 3:31 pm:

Hi,

I like the colorful description you incorporated into this piece of writing. It is very neat. :)

 
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Winged.Living.Free.This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Apr. 16, 2012 at 4:53 pm:

I loved it! It was very descriptive! And don't give up! I betcha it will get in the magazines if you fix everything and look it over a couple of times! I really did enjoy reading this!

 

~ Free :)(:

 
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SpreadUrWingzNFly said...
Mar. 21, 2012 at 4:51 pm:
That was beautifully haunting and sad but oh how I loved it, would you be so kind as to give me a few tips on my poems I'd appreciate it, thanx :) keep up the good work
 
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Miranda_K. said...
Mar. 19, 2012 at 8:18 am:
The format is a bit confusing but your message is crystal clear. The way you worded this you could feel his heartbreak with him.
 
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loveissmilesThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Mar. 19, 2012 at 7:50 am:
i have to agree that the format isnt the greatest, the site does that a lot. Other than that there is not a single thing i would change. This is so incredible. I am completely appaled my this. You have an unspeakable amount of talent, and im devestated to see this wasn't in a magazine. I mean it honestly don't get much better than this. Great job. :)
 
ImJustAGuy replied...
Mar. 19, 2012 at 8:29 pm :
Thanks so much !  i wish  it was  in the magazine 
 
CharlesDickens replied...
Mar. 21, 2012 at 1:52 pm :

First of all, I'd like to say that I really like this peice, and it was a good read.

The no-paragraph format, however, makes this physically difficult to read.

Also, the story is written with base vocabulary, then splattered with more intensive stuff like "Estrangement," "Effervescent," and "resplendent." Vocabulary in moderation is best when dealing with a teenage audience.

Aside from these minor flaws, (which all writers have and share, myself included,) I should like t... (more »)

 
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Behind_a_Plastic_Smile said...
Mar. 18, 2012 at 10:49 pm:
This was nice Im not really a fan of the format (not sure of that's u or the site) but the words and imagery were lovely Eventhough it was sad. Good job!
 
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