Guilty Pride

February 21, 2012
Here I sit in English on a day that is unplanned
They cancelled our no school day -what tyrants-
So here I sit
See the students half asleep with heads on desks

Early in the morning
Steam rolls from my cup
Scents of coffee and winter fresh float around me
As the thoughts of this week fester

"How is your Friday so far?" My teacher asks

"It would be better if I was asleep and my ex-boyfriend wasn't stalking me"
I reply taking a sip of my amaretto coffee

I would be shocked too if I wasn't so calm
Fortunately no one realizes just how serious I am
Unfortunately I'm dead serious

Laughter from Cody rings loud in the silent class
The sound is as sweet as the cherry flavor swirling around my taste buds
Sweetness so similar to my days except for one thing:
My days are a bit more bitter-sweet

I hear what my friends say about Him
Snickers follow Him as He follows me
Like a lost puppy who knows nothing but adoration
And much to my dismay
Guilt pools in my stomach
I have come to accept He won't give up

Once again He walked -more like followed- me to class
Wouldn’t you think the opposite?
He should avoid me
If for nothing more than risk of embarrassing himself more than I already have

Still my classmates are silent
Little looks of disbelief are thrown my way
I know they wonder how I can be so blunt about this
Really it's all so simple
In a sick and twisted kind of way
But what do you expect?

I can't help what He has done to His reputation
The more I think
The more I realize
What this could all become
Guilt slowly becomes something else

A slow smile creeps across my face
Take another sip of coffee
Pride flows through my veins
Confidence radiates around me
How can I be anything but conceited when I have such a loyal fan?

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