why does what’s most wrong
feel so right and
it’s not a good time to fall in love but
when is it ever?

the sweetest love in all the world
is what you are but
i’d only confess in my
most honest thoughts but never out loud:
i love you, i love you.

and your sweet voice caresses me like
the passionate tips of butterfly wings and
i’ve never known anybody sweeter and better than you so
it kills me to know i can never have you when
i’m intoxicated by your smell of
strawberries and maple syrup and hairspray and the sea in summer and rain with
your golden blonde hair caught in my dull brown and
i could die happy intertwined in your arms because
never was there ever such a sparkling and amazing heart and soul
inside such a tiny and beautiful boy.

i’ve never felt so alive as the
touch of your skin wakes up my dead insides and
nothing, nobody can make me feel like you do; make me feel better as i
tremble just at your hugs and i’m shaking while
the swish of skirts blended with smudges of
black eyeliner and red lipstick mixed with tears
brings me to sobs and the greatest feeling of
wanting what i can’t have as i allow myself to feel
your kisses of strawberry chapstick suffocate me with the pain that
i can never be yours; i can never be with you.

and i’m choking on nothing and
claw at my dreams that will never be because
i know how forbidden you are to me but
i promise i’ll save your heart if you save mine and
i guess we always want what we can’t have so
i’ll pocket you away as my dirty, exhilarating secret that
will always tempt me with the way you make me feel and
i’ll never forget us jumbled and mixed up together
so wrong enough to make it right but
i can’t have you, my savior, my angel that
keeps me sane in the midst of chaos i can
stay in your arms and just speak freely to you but
i have to let all my feelings just
fall away…