Battle Scars

March 12, 2012
The pain is excruciating
Yet for one moment
The ache in my heart is numb

I slash again and again
Until all I can see is blood
But I still feel terrible

I want to get rid of the pain
The one that follows me
Every single moment of every single day

I'll use anything I can get my hands on
I'm desperate to see myself bleed
Because then maybe they'll notice that this is me

Hurt washes over his face
When he finds out what I've done
It doesn't help him recover at all
But it's the only way I can be numb

Then as they're healing
They hurt like hell
And now one is infected

You see the scars all over my hands?
I wanted to show my imperfection

Well now its there
For the whole world to see
And I just want to set my pain free

I need to endure it and get over the truth
Death comes to everyone
It will even come to you

But when it's self inflicted
You wonder if it was your fault
Especially when it was your best friend
The one you promised to catch if she fell

Then theres those 'natural causes'
The sicknesses like cancer and AIDS
Slowly killing the body until
One day they win and the spirit has gone away

So I cut myself to feel the pain
The one I know they all go through
Because I know it's inevitable
They'll all die one day, it's true

What if it's me next time?
Will anyone even remember?
What I did to end my life
That windy day in November?

Trust me I've considered it
Saying goodbye the same day I said hello
But I couldn't do that to the ones I love
Not when they don't have the choice
They'll die because it's time

I cut myself to numb my heart
To show my imperfection
These marks are my battle scars
But one day, I will win

I won't give in and let it take me
Swallow me until I'm gone
I'll fight for myself and show I can live
Through anything, no matter what

And the only reason that will keep me fighting
Through every day and night
Is knowing that you're here with me
Standing by my side

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