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Fading Existence

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I watched her tears stream down
Her face,
Down her pillow,
And down the drain.
Into the sewer
Where all insomniac dreamers’
Tears would meet tonight.
I watched the tears
Explain their situation,
Their reason behind existence.
Some tears were English.
Some French
Some Swahili
Some Arabic

And there was nothing I could do,
But watch.

I watched her fade faster than
The breaking of dawn;
Fading into the shadows of her heartache.
I watched her cut up her trousers
To bandage up her seemingly
Endless endlessness of scars.
It was useless.

I watched the ink bleed
Through her bandages.
The ink of her midnight prayers,
Of her inevitable fear to sleep
While she was awake.
And to wake
While she slept.

And there was nothing I could do,
But watch.

I watched her pull apart curtains
And crack open windows;
Letting the searing brightness of
Children’s laughter and gleeful citizens
Leak through her pores.
Instantly she yearned for the
Comfort,
Safety,
And recognition
That accompanied darkness.
The only thing she had become
Familiar with.
The only thing she knew.
And therefore the only thing she trusted.

Like ravens aimlessly clawing at branches
She aimlessly clawed at her sanity.
Watching it fade away,
With the rest of her emotions.

And there was nothing I could do,
But watch.

As she slowly welcomed
Hungry parasites and thirsty leeches.
They left Nothing behind.
A girl who believed in Nothing.
Nothing was her religion.
Nothing was her friend.
Nothing was her mother.
Nothing was her father.
Nothing was her home.
Her strongest belief was Nothing,
Because Nothing cared and loved her.
So she loved Nothing back.

And there was nothing I could do,
But watch.





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