What have I turned into? What really matters anymore? Trust is broken and the scars on my wrist have more to it than I'll ever tell. I don't even recognize the face starring back at me in the mirror with all of this make-up slopped on to my what used to be innocent face. Lies twist, swirl, and burn inside my cold soul. I am lost with no one. I trusted the wrong people for even more wrong reasons. I'm scared and I'm always cold. I touch the scars on my wrist and close my eyes. I'm tired of people saying things will get better because they won't and they haven't. I think back to that ten year old little girl who loved swinging on swings and bible camp. What happened to her? When did she loose her way and become me? When did her parents give up? Why did she ever crash and fall into the peer-pressure that night? When did her friends realize what she was becoming into? When did she give up on herself? I open my eyes and lies crash towards the surface of my body. I can't move, but I don't want to. My body slows down and I suddenly feel calmer. I think of when I used to want to be a princess when I was little, but now it seems like all I am is the villain. I stare at the cold less monster in the mirror and close my eyes. What has happened to this world? I want my old life back. I am lifeless, cold, and alone. I give up. You know it's officially over when the person you can't trust the most is yourself.
What Have I Turned Into?
March 6, 2012