I don't wanna hate you that isn't something I want to do, you were my life.. everything I held on to. You kept me alive, as if you were my heart but when the beat stopped everything fell apart. All I could do was keep repeating it in my head, every time I thought about it.. I became a little more dead. Nothing was gonna break me from this pain, nothing could wash it away.. not even the rain. I never wanted to call you a mistake, but these feelings are something I can't shake. I had every intention we would last, now were just something people call the past. I'm trying to start a new future but I just cant do it alone, because with you everything feels like home. You make me smile and its the one I cant hide, its the one that appears when I let go of all my pride. I don't know if I hate you because I don't know if I can, when you said “I love you” I should have just ran. I wouldn't have regretted my choice at all, because you wouldn't have gotten a chance to make me fall. A chance to hurt me when I was scared, the chance I gave you when I thought you cared. If I would have known then what I know now, I would have tried to keep us together somehow. We would have waited it out, just to see if I was the one you really cared about. && I know its not all you, because half of it was me too. I let you have those chances.. enough to break my heart, up to the point were we had our final part. I still love you, be leave me I really do... but “us” is something I'm just done holding on to.
March 5, 2012