i am hers

By , Princeton, NJ
you have no idea
no idea how much i want to
punch in her skull
how much i want to rip that
scornful mouth from that ever
disproving glare
you have no idea how
wrong she is to
judge me
when she barley knows a cent about
you have no idea
how i loathe the very way she talks
like she knows me
how she blames me
how she talks about me
you don’t know i angry she makes me
how violent she turns me
what bad thoughts slide its way into my mind
when i think of the venomous
its disgusting
pure hate slips through the cracks of my armor
and i want to end her
i’m not myself any longer
and i blame her for that change
i blame her for what she does to me...

then i blame myself for thinking those thoughts
of her
i should love her
as any daughter should...

but that’s what makes me hate her, i say
i feel guilty about it
its true she is there in times of heartache
its true shes there when i need her to be
but then sometimes shes not and
it takes over
that one moment when she
can’t take my side
she goes and confronts
me on subjects
she knows absolutely nothing about
and it suddenly becomes my fault
her problems are because of me
perhaps it is
her fault partly
but does she think of that?
its my fault
you have no idea the pain
i feel of having to vent this out
of having to live this life with
it makes me sick
then i’m sick that i feel this way
but that tone
that tone makes me so completely
BLIND with hate that i no longer care
care what she thinks
its all a worthless prelude
you have no idea

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