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Darkness

February 20, 2012
By just.another.person130 SILVER, Taipei, Other
More by this author
just.another.person130 SILVER, Taipei, Other
8 articles 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
“You can gain more friends by being yourself than you can by putting up a front. You can gain more friends by building people up than you can by tearing them down. And you can gain more friends by taking a few minutes from each day to do something kind for someone, whether it be a friend or a complete stranger. What a difference one person can make!” – Sasha Azevedo

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Darkness in rooms
Darkness everywhere
I’m alone forever
everywhere to hide
nowhere to find
just want someone
something to love
but darkness holds
me down does not
let me go at all never
ever so I sit in darkness
forever, alone.

© Ariel L., Bethesda, MD

The author's comments:
This poem has a real dark feel to it I wrote this because I felt kinda sad and depressed. What this poem is pretty much telling you that someone broke up with someone and you really liked them. Now you feel like you are in the dark where no one will talk to you and you are all alone. This is the kind of feel this poem has. I really hope you enjoy or enjoyed it.
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 3 comments.

NickyJ BRONZE said...
on Mar. 5 2012 at 2:07 pm
NickyJ BRONZE, Hyde Park, New York
1 article 0 photos 138 comments

Favorite Quote:
“In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.” ~Robert Frost

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I agree with xoSamanthaxo. While the simplicity had potential for a good poem, all you really say is the same thing over and over. The only image you use is "Darkness" and its the only thing you personify.

Overall, its not interesting enough enough to the reader and its not memorable. Simplicity is fine so long as you use good figurative language, imagery, and other devices, which this poem is lacking.
xoSamanthaxo GOLD said...
on Mar. 5 2012 at 1:19 pm
xoSamanthaxo GOLD, New York, New York
12 articles 0 photos 21 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Forget all the rules. Forget about being published. Write for yourself and celebrate writing."
-Anonymous

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the poem is a little retentive. I like thats its simple, but it needs something else besides darkness. its just not interesting enough. 
Chiko354 BRONZE said...
on Mar. 5 2012 at 6:55 am
Chiko354 BRONZE, Pardo, Other
2 articles 3 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.
(Judy Garland)

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Hey, your poem is cool eventhough it's short .. like it :)