I decided to embark on a treacherous journey,
to find something that would rescue me,
from fear and a sea of trepidation.
something that would help me escape,
this locked cage I live in.
where is that key?
this thing I've been searching for?
This thing that can make happiness no longer seem transient,
that can stop the world from debilitating me,
that can keep my porous self from lassitude.
I must find this clandestine substance.
Something that would allow me to accept all the different parts of myself,
to help rise my character from the ashes,
to allow me to believe that I am lovable and capable.
Something that would let me believe that i am a person of integrity a waning,
and sincere purpose.
But this furtive journey has been protracted,
my strength waning,
myself slowly disappearing,
my body becoming phlegmatic and pusillanimous
my invisible character becoming more obsequious
i cannot find this thing,
which atrophies my ability to succeed,
the ability to respect and love myself.
Yet suddenly,
As i was stuck in this medley,
As i was about to fall in the hole of invisibility,
I saw it.
Was this a stratagem
How could this be?
I reached out and grasped it.
It was ME