He'll Never Know

February 24, 2012
By Hazeline SILVER, Phoenix, Arizona
Hazeline SILVER, Phoenix, Arizona
7 articles 0 photos 0 comments

He looks at me
But there’s more to him than one can see.
He doesn’t even have to try
‘cause when I look into his eyes
I see his heart shining through
And know that everything he does is wholehearted and true.
Every act is kind and thought-out.
He makes every girl feel like she counts.
The things he does are small, but great
And they’re a part of him I appreciate.
He’s a friend to all,
But I’m so scared to call
‘cause I know that I’ll stutter
and make the conversation fall into a wrecked clutter.
So I must be satisfied
With the occasional hi’s
But when I look at him
I admit he’ll never know that I memorize every word he speaks,
Treasuring every sentence like it’s a hymn,
Replaying them in my mind for weeks.
Every time he talks to me
I walk away with an undying smile, so overjoyed that it seems silly.
I desperately wait for the next time he’ll call my name;
I cherish every time he does;; they’ll never be the same.
As I watch from behind,
I wonder if he can feel all these thoughts pelting in my mind.
When he’s gone my day looks bleak,
My friends are here but it feels incomplete.
Now I stand back and observe
And realize my feelings about him are not what they once were.
He was the budding flower
With potential but you couldn’t be sure
‘till the flower blooms
and the character inside is revealed all too soon.
His petals have been opened in full,
And I can see plainer than ever that he’s tall, blond, and beautiful-
Inside and out.
His sincere, blue eyes
Never lie.
The jovial face I didn’t notice at first
Has become a blessing, yet a curse.
The ones who care ask why I look sad most of the time
Or why a smile is so hard to find.
So I’ll give them typical answers
But they’re lies that conceal the empty wishes and prayers.
He’s good-natured and always laughing
While my heart is cracking.
So I’ll just look on
And miss all the fun,
Because it can’t be for me.
He walks by
But can’t see me sigh;
Does he have any idea how often his name floats through my mind?
I watch him there writing and feel so cold and alone, like a leafless tree;
It kills me to know it’ll never be.
I wish I could be all that he needs
But doing that means changing me.
I’ve tried my hardest to improve in everything,
But the “everything” I want to transform is a part of me, everlasting.
Then I look at myself
And envision an empty shelf:
A plain, average person
Who lacks so much to be the one.
I’m not the right person
And it doesn’t matter that I haven’t won,
‘cause I know he deserves so much better,
and that’s what I want for him, forever.
No doubt he’ll find her, one special day,
And if she makes him happy, there’s nothing left for me to say.

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