The Alphabet of Her (Before and After)

February 22, 2012
“The Alphabet of Her-(Before) and After”
Abyss-tinged lips sigh

(Was it yesterday she was drowning?)
Ballerina voice: “You’re not good enough.”

(She cares about math homework more.)
Cyanide eyes stutter forgiveness

(Previously a cornflower bliss)
Dichotomy of gender

(Why am I so hurt by HER?)
Electric voice on my neck; kisses breathe like petals

(She’s angry, remember?)
Flamed notes, words, syllables

(Me in my own world, and her there beside)
Good enough/good enough/good enough

(She told me I was perfect)
Hello to a rose-tinted boy

(She told me he was nothing)
I am sick for her and her happy breath

(“Don’t take things too seriously.”)
Joy collapsed, she screamed at me

(She sat and watched the collide)
Kind dreams drowned in the clouds in her eyes

(Star-filled mouth grins back)
Lilacs can’t love wallflowers

(It’s not my fault I can’t speak)
Mankind punishes all things wild

(I am imprisoned, she is free)
Narcissus blooms that sit in her hand

(My first present to her, forgotten)
Oedipal complex blossomed, she explains

(An instant of gravity, decayed)
Petal-like curve of her nose tipped down

(I think it’s really happening)
“Quit. I need to quit.”

(Am I that bad for you?)
Raindrops shuddered in the sky

(Everyone is watching this happen)
“Stop crying, okay? It was bound to happen.”

(What happens if I thought about forever?)
Trying to be silent, collected; a burning wildflower

(A scream escapes from its lifeless prison)
Us, now departed

(Miles and miles of arid landscape between us)
Vows dissolved into comments

(I’m watching her walk away)
Wallflower lips won’t open

(Why can’t I say something?)
X’s and O’s scrawled on a wrist

(You let somebody else in?)
You and your silk-screened loveliness

(I can’t believe I let it fade)
Zinnia eyes locked into someone else

(I saw her slip away)





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