My Shower

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My shower time,
My shower, mine.
Outside I'm fine.
Inside my cries,
just for help.

drip drop.
drip drop.

I'll admit, it keeps me sane.
gives me time to figure out what thoughts are going through my brain.
no one there to judge my thoughts, no disagreements on things already fought.

drip drop.
drip drop.

Should I love this? yeah sure. why not?
The loneliness under my bare skin somehow reaches out and embraces the water.

drip drop.
drip drop.

silently, I let the steam soften my insides. my brain. my heart.
practically melting.
pruning.
for half an hour or two.
somehow my thoughts run back to you.
it...
What
Where
How.. & Now.
Now, I give up. & Now I give up and let it go.
& at this moment I cry my heart out with my head leaning against the shower wall.
it's funny how my tears are identical.
Finally I get out, hug myself with lotion & find my clothes.
I'm alive but I feel so dead.
& somehow I manage to leave and close the door.
just so I can come back in the morn' & repeat.





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