Magazine, website & books written by teens since 1989

My Greatest Enemy

Custom User Avatar
More by this author
Enemy of face
Hear me

You lurk forever in my shadow
And the depths of my eyes

I float only on the surface
Too afraid of the dive
The underneath belongs to you

Disguised with so many layers
But your teeth shred them away

I used to struggle against you
I lost to sinister tricks
My soul tightly chained to you

The fear in me is you
You are an unbeatable monster

I wallow when my will weakens
You, creature, control me
Secret sabotage of my soul

I say it’s ok, I’m perfectly fine
Just don’t look too close

You have ruined me with dark of ways
Stolen from me sound of mind
Captured my choice of life

Face of enemy
Is mine



Join the Discussion


This article has 10 comments. Post your own!

ClaudeTheDemonButler said...
Feb. 29, 2012 at 5:04 pm:
Its a very beautifuly written peice. I love it
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
Vanilla4Life said...
Feb. 25, 2012 at 5:41 pm:
I like this! It flows and it demonstrates how I feel about myself sometimes.
 
Abbeth replied...
Feb. 25, 2012 at 6:21 pm :
thank you!
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
Swims.M.V. said...
Feb. 24, 2012 at 8:01 pm:
I really liked how you used that our enemy is ourself. This was well done :D
 
Abbeth replied...
Feb. 25, 2012 at 12:03 pm :
thank you so much!
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
Rynne This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Feb. 24, 2012 at 7:41 pm:

I really like your wording choice and the way it flows together. It comes off really strongly, so good job. The only part that seemed a little off were the last two lines "Face of Enemy - is Mine" A "the" either before face or after of might help it flow together a litte better.

Other than that it's great

 
Abbeth replied...
Feb. 25, 2012 at 12:04 pm :
thanks for the suggestion! i'll work on that
 
lux14421 replied...
Feb. 25, 2012 at 12:38 pm :
This is really interesting
 
Abbeth replied...
Feb. 25, 2012 at 2:57 pm :
thank you!
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
I.White said...
Feb. 23, 2012 at 10:39 pm:
I like how the "enemy" could be anything or anyone- this poem leaves a lot of room for imagination
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
Site Feedback