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Finding my own path

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Why do I have to be the one that’s always left behind?
Why do I have to be the one who clears up after the storm?
Why do I have to be the one, the one you most despise?
Yet you favour me so greatly to watch your back,
You don’t realise I’ve a chance to rebel back.
Maybe you want to put me in the danger you don’t want to know about,
You think I’m far too weak to have a think about, without a doubt,
My choices, my decisions, my emotions, my feelings
You know I’m far too strong to defy you in path
And yet every time I make the right choices,
You deter me from my choice and you influence my decision to follow one of your own.

You don’t realise that I don’t need you to hold my hand anymore,
You don’t realise that I’ve grown wise
In your eyes you see the child that I once was
And yet in your vision I’ll always be something of the past.
It’s as though you don’t want to see, you don’t want to know,
But let’s face reality, a far safer sanctity,
Than your deluded mind, and with its powers combined,
You have to acknowledge that time moves on,
And realise that with time, people do the same
And no one’s to take the blame
For this simple, independent act in life.

You can’t hold me back, when all I yearn is adventure,
To see what’s out there in the big, big world.
You see; you’re experienced from your past and your childhood
But you don’t know what it’s like to be an individual
And you can’t expect me to follow your footsteps
When I want to find my own.

I don’t want to hide beneath your shadow,
I don’t want to dwell in the past,
I don’t want to think like you, act like you
And I really don’t want to pay for the misfortunes of your past.
You want me to be something you never were;
Live the life and dreams you never did;
You want me be somebody, somebody who is perfect in your vision.
But did it ever occur to you; is this what I really want?

Your days are over, and mine are in the verge of beginning,
You try to control me, hold me within the reins of your admonished perfection,
But I’ve grown too strong, to ever hide beneath the ever so obliging façade,
I need to know what its like when discovering something new,
It may take some time, maybe 10 years or twenty two,
But you have to realise that it’s my life, shaped by the things I do,
And it’s going to wonderful, even if it isn’t perfection to you.

Do you ever know what it’s like to be free?
Do you know how it feels to be in love?
Do you know how it feels when you do something wonderful?
And yet when I do, you always know how to curb away my happiness.
Does it please you to see me buried in my sorrows?
Does it please you to watch me waste away my blissful youth?
You would never know the words to the song that I sing.
You will never know the destination my journey leads to.
You will always be alienated from my happy memories
A dark cloud, staining the bright painting in the background.
But don’t you realise you will be nothing more!
You thrived on my depression,
You preyed on my weaknesses,
You feasted upon my misfortune.
But this time, things are turning around.

You will always be a foreigner in my life,
The one who knew when to arrive-
Just in time to steal away the bags of joy.
You do realise that my life is full of possibilities,
Once you didn’t have and don’t want me to have,
But this is my life and you have no control over it,
You can’t force me, to live like you did.
You can’t torture me using guilt against me,
Because I know that I’m not wrong in being who I am.
I will never go wrong in being just me……………..



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