the flowers bloom as the sun rises, the dew filled grass glistens in the light, yet everything still seems so dark, so lost. I don't remember the yelling ending, nor falling asleep, but i'm glad i did. i tiptoe oh so quietly trying not to wake anyone, trying not to anger him, from day to day as the sun rises and sets again the yelling only gets worse. he scares me, he makes me shake, but sometimes it only makes me angry, i want to yell back i want to scream, i want to hit him with all i have, yet i sit mute and still, trying my best not to cry, trying my best not to let him see me shake. i miss when there were only four of us , not eight, i dont like any of them, they ruined me, they ruined my family,they took away all i ever had, all i ever wanted. i wish they would split up i wish the sadness and anger would end, but it won't it only gets worse and as the sun rises it only starts again. so i hide it all with a fake smile , don;t want the kids at school to see me hurt,don't want mom to see i,m broken and scared, because she is to, she just doesnt want to admit it, hiding becomes so easy when no one knows what your hiding from, have you ever just wanted to hide from the sun? the beginning of a new day? because your scared of it? i have, everyday of my life, just hiding from a new day.
darkness in light
January 17, 2012