This is the story of a seed becoming a tree, starting off so small and fragile like many parts of me. The hours turn into days and the days turn into weeks. In the beginning in 9th grade I begin to grow so tidy and neat. So many new things I touch, taste and smell. All the newness excites me, though I do not understand it well. As the months pass the classmate creatures underground are able to tell that my body has come to be curvy and swelled. I cannot say I was proud of my current state, though I feel myself changing so I shall wait. In between stages, I was outcast by cliquey forest giants; I was only still growing therefore unable to stand in defiance. The giants tried to express their superiority, so I tried my best to stay true to my emotions loyalty and though the cliques never accepted me as myself, I knew when I woke up every day I will be myself. I was teased and taunted for my oddly shaped physique; they called me names like “loser, freak”. I never thought I could feel so bad. Regardless of my broken heart all they did was laugh. I felt like going to sleep and never waking up, it’s sad to think life was so easy the turned so rough. Some days I ate my lunch in the bathroom taking very little bites. The tiles were my friends and I found comfort in the florescent lights. I spent many days growing alone but at night the aloneness had different sort of tone. My mind took over, imagination ran wild, the moon was my lover and the wish for time to speed up was dialed. Up I came, sprouting out from under the ground, the world is enormous but I shall not go back down.
At the beginning of 10th grade I had more confidence, however they all look down upon me; it made no sense. I try my best to remind myself I am growing, the rumors and the lies are just obstacles they keep throwing.”I can persevere, you’ll see,” words I forgot, the giants got the best of me. I had lost my hope for better days to come, my grades began to slip and eventually I fell numb. The pain built in the day, I felt its full affect at night, soon all my strength faded I could no longer fight. Just when I was about to give into the darkest of my heart, a man came to me and said “You can’t control what you were so remember who you are”. At that moment I broke free from the evil lies and for a moment I left the ground, soaring deep into the sky. The clouds floated beside me, the winds took me high, I remembered who I am and I began to cry. That oh so special part I lost returned so fast, oh my dear soul you return to me at last. Growing so nicely I knew to stop the fun, I return to my trunk sensing the worst is yet to come. I will hold my sword and shield not stopping until this battle is done, until I drive all my enemies into the sun. All their sounds went in one ear and out the other; they could not pass judgment for they are not my father or my mother. I ignored all the tall tales of my “sexual encounters” my barrier is surrounded by sharks and you all are merely flounders.
At the beginning of 11th grade wasn’t as hard as the years before, my branches and leaves grow elegantly, parts of my personality originating from my core. My grades were a lot better and I started to make friends, my wounds for days past remained but my heart began to mend. No more giants look down upon me, now we see eye to eye, I am just as good as the rest of them and they just as good as I. As the seasons change so do they along with it, then I realized why it was my demise they were plotting, stripped of all their leaves I see them all rotting. Yearning for my happiness they still tear at my bark. Now I thank you for these scars, these beautiful memory marks. Your words mean nothing and your strikes are weak, I will no longer bow for peer pressure, now kneel before me.
For those who still exist the season does change and it’s only 12th grade that still remains. I have become very grown up now but still have a ways to go and on this everlasting journey I fear no evil, nor friend, nor foe. High school is done, I have all my knowledge and soon I will branch out into the season of college. I promise to apply myself and have fun while I’m there and if anyone dares to hurt me I promise to not care. When I am in college I will be strong, knowing this stage of growing won’t last for long. I stand tall, I stand true, and I stand this way for me, never for you. Coming up empty and filling the bullet holes, I have my spirit back so that I may reach my goals. I will be a psychologist, many emotions I will uncover so that those I help can truly live now and forever. The breeze blows through me and I think of the calming blue, and of all my lessons I will remember that I hold the key and all I need is to look to the sky; it will always set me free.