She’s not perfect. She knows that, but she’s beginning to think they don’t know that.
She’s always been the smart one.
The responsible one.
The calm one.
The most behaved one.
The quiet one.
The respectful one.
The strong one.
The she-looks-just-like-her-sister one.
But she’s tired of being that one.
She wants to be the one
Where it’s not surprising if she fails once or twice.
Where she doesn’t always have to be responsible. She can be careless. Reckless.
Where she can scream to show her frustration when she can’t handle it anymore.
Where she can get in trouble without disappointing someone because “it’s not her.”
Where she can cry because she’s hurt or sleep off a bad day instead of pretending that nothing bothers her because she’s strong.
Where she isn’t compared to someone else. Not her older sister. Or her other siblings.
Where she doesn’t always have to hid behind a smile.
She can’t handle it anymore.
She wants to be herself and no one else. She doesn’t want her parents to look at her in shame because she failed a test. Her brothers and sisters have. Just because she hasn’t before doesn’t mean she won’t or can‘t.
She wants to be and look different because she looks just like her beautiful sister but everyone thinks she should be thankful for the compliment. But for once, she wants to be recognized for herself and not her sister.
She’s tired of being the one who doesn’t make mistakes. More like the one who can’t.
She carries the weight of her family’s world on her shoulders and it’s too heavy to be removed. She can’t be who she wants to be because it isn’t expected of her.
The true her is inside her reflection in the puddle. But she’s stuck being that one.