my love

February 3, 2012
By Siesie SILVER, Wheat Ridge, Colorado
Siesie SILVER, Wheat Ridge, Colorado
8 articles 0 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
"life is not fun, you have to make it that way."


I use to be alone
Finley escaped the isolation
My heart felt lie a drone
Never truly feeling, never truly loving
When I met you, I was drawn to you
I thought you just needed some understanding
I would have never guessed we would join like this
Both of us were crushed by the evils of the world
But when I first kissed you all I could feel is bliss
Even though we didn’t know it
That was the day our lovely adventure began
I never imagined the love and happiness I would get
We have been through ups and downs
At the beginning I would have thought…
That you would get tired of me by now
The phone calls we have had, the words we mean
Every time I think about them my heart flutters
At this moment I know we are meant to be
I will love you and cherish you forever
I will do all I can for you
I will do my part for us together
It doesn’t matter what others say
This is our love, not a show
Though some relationships are just a play
Ours is real and I wouldn’t want it any other way
Your smile captivates me
Your red cheeks are so delightful
The beauty of your eyes is the loving kea
That has made my heart unlock to you
You might not see it
But every word I say is true
My dark knight
Your light shines bright
The only thing left to say is…
I love you, my prince, good night


The author's comments:
it is for my boyfriend please tell me what could make this better

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This article has 3 comments.


Siesie SILVER said...
on Jun. 15 2013 at 8:34 pm
Siesie SILVER, Wheat Ridge, Colorado
8 articles 0 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
"life is not fun, you have to make it that way."

thanks i know thats a week point that i have, i promice that i'll keep working on it!

Zach_M said...
on Jun. 15 2013 at 8:26 pm
so I read this, but I want you to know that there is some information you could have left out; you should really go into a more metaphorical language/ talk about heavy emotions and relate them to towards your love for this guy. For instance, "Your smile capitvates me/ Your red cheeks are delightful/ the beauty of your eyes is the loving kea that has made my heart unlock to you..." ; take all of that.. and just explode with metaphors.... talk about each thoroughly.. describe your inner feelings about it. Try to make your audience feel how you feel. Other than that... great job :D

Akylios BRONZE said...
on Jun. 15 2013 at 8:25 pm
Akylios BRONZE, Mankato, Minnesota
1 article 2 photos 3 comments
gives an extraordinary image of what LOVE REALLY IS. well done Miss....well done


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